Two Things

Two random things from the beginning of our trip that will never get expanded into an actual thing... (until "Travels with Chris & David)

The best night for me might be the second night of the trip in DuBois, PA when I witnessed a platinum blond angel sing. It was during karaoke in a bar called "Coyote Joe's". Aptly named for the menacing coyote 15ft. above the bar (not named for the woman who looked like a coyote who picked a fight with it). The angel was named Billy. Billy didn't have wings, but the throat - the throat - was made of gossamer. This kid in this tiny town knocked my socks off and when I finally inquired as to who he could be, this broad gargling Pennsylvania coal and a Newport says in one breath, "Who Billy? Oh Billy's amazing he was touched as a kid I think you know he won a contest he came in first tied with me we both competed and we won and I think his father fondled him he's incredible these guys stood up when he was singing and called him a faggot and I feel really bad for him because he mighta been touched by his dad and his wife left him for another woman she's a lesbian and took the kid and those guys after the contest splashed paint all over his van and I told his wife I told her "You're a no-good piece of trash and Billy deserves better and I ought to beat the shit outta you right now" and he can sing like no one else and he was definitely molested.. draggggg." One breath. From "kinda" being touched to "certainly", guys torturing him, and wife leaving him. I think he used all that and poured it into Prince's "Pussy Control." The kid can sing.

My favorite moment. Two days later in Pittsburgh. Chris and I went to the Andy Warhol museum. The museum has five or six floors and you start at the top and work your way down. On the top floor before you get to Warhol's stuff, they had a special exhibition called, "Deadly Medicine: Creating the Master Race." It detailed the nazi regimes genocide through "racial hygiene." Intensity. There were all sorts of displays and media and the exhibit was a bit of a labyrinth and at one point led to a display documenting an asylum where doctors would observe people who were mentally ill and "feebleminded" (great word) and then kill them (not really, but really). So we come to the Door. The Door was used at one of the asylums (perfectly creepy - scratches and bite marks; a Crazy Kids Only sign on it) And in front of the Door was an explanation of what went on behind the Door. It explained, "through this door, doctors would observe patients and diagnose them based on their observations." Then the display went on to say, "Look through the observation window in the door and you will see what a doctor saw." And when you looked through the window of the Door, there was a monitor six feet away that flashed stills of people with various psychological sicknesses. Pictures of the crazies. It was terrible. And sobering. And as we walked away, Chris says, "Dave, watch this." Just as a woman finishes reading and is about to look, Chris sneaks up behind the Door, makes a crazyface (see below) and drives that woman INSANE. Oh the irony. She got pissed off - as the insane do. But then Chris did it to a large group of women and they couldn't stop laughing through the exhibit... because they were black.

We now have a new sketch called, "The Door." -- David